Snickers: They Really Satisfy!
LUCKY TOSS
Driving back from covering the discovery of a decayed body dumped in the desert, Marlene, the reporter, and myself, the photographer, wondered how the body came to be located on top of a badger’s den, with the entrance tunneled right through the victim’s abdomen. Did the omnivorous badger drag the body over its home or did it land on the den when it was tossed from the vehicle? If it landed there, it sure was lucky for the badger, we decided. “Meals on Wheels,” I quipped.
PARTY BUZZ
Bill brought me the mixed cocktail - my first ever. I was 14. It tasted strong. After only a few sips, I could really feel the effects of the alcohol. Oh yeah! This was a jammin' party. I suddenly gained an amazing new confidence to chat up the popular kids and show off the sizzling dance moves carefully perfected in front of my bedroom mirror. I was sooooo cool. "Wow, Bill! What was in that?!" I later asked him. "Pepto Bismol and orange juice."
EAH?! COULD YA SPEAK UP?
My co-worker, myself and an elderly man were chasing a stray dog running in and out of traffic in front of the place where I work. We finally caught the dog and thanked the old man for his help. "You're welcome," he said, still holding onto the dog's collar along with my co-worker, as I checked the dog's tags. "Oh, good. There's a phone number so we can call the owner!" I announced. "Owner?!" screeched the man. "I'm the owner!"
MAKE WAY FOR THE WEDDING SINGER
"Are you the wedding singer?" I was asked upon arriving at a wedding, where I was hired to shoot photos. What I HEARD was, "Are you Heather Singer?" I said, "Yes." Panick struck as the woman turned around and hollered," Hank! The wedding singer is here. Can you help her get set up?" In the fifth grade, our music teacher abruptly stopped the class in the middle of a song to remind the class that, "We are singing, NOT shouting." I looked up from the front row to see that she was bent over and speaking right into my face!
NUDE EYE SHADOW
"That eye shadow looks so natural on you," I was told in high school by my best friend, Yulie Glutton (name has been changed to protect identity). "Thanks, Yuls! But I'm not wearing any eye shadow!"
EU DE YUCKE!
"You stink," I told a boyfriend several years ago after laying down with my nose near his armpit. "It's Old Spice," he said. "Yeah, VERY Old Spice!"
Driving back from covering the discovery of a decayed body dumped in the desert, Marlene, the reporter, and myself, the photographer, wondered how the body came to be located on top of a badger’s den, with the entrance tunneled right through the victim’s abdomen. Did the omnivorous badger drag the body over its home or did it land on the den when it was tossed from the vehicle? If it landed there, it sure was lucky for the badger, we decided. “Meals on Wheels,” I quipped.
PARTY BUZZ
Bill brought me the mixed cocktail - my first ever. I was 14. It tasted strong. After only a few sips, I could really feel the effects of the alcohol. Oh yeah! This was a jammin' party. I suddenly gained an amazing new confidence to chat up the popular kids and show off the sizzling dance moves carefully perfected in front of my bedroom mirror. I was sooooo cool. "Wow, Bill! What was in that?!" I later asked him. "Pepto Bismol and orange juice."
EAH?! COULD YA SPEAK UP?
My co-worker, myself and an elderly man were chasing a stray dog running in and out of traffic in front of the place where I work. We finally caught the dog and thanked the old man for his help. "You're welcome," he said, still holding onto the dog's collar along with my co-worker, as I checked the dog's tags. "Oh, good. There's a phone number so we can call the owner!" I announced. "Owner?!" screeched the man. "I'm the owner!"
MAKE WAY FOR THE WEDDING SINGER
"Are you the wedding singer?" I was asked upon arriving at a wedding, where I was hired to shoot photos. What I HEARD was, "Are you Heather Singer?" I said, "Yes." Panick struck as the woman turned around and hollered," Hank! The wedding singer is here. Can you help her get set up?" In the fifth grade, our music teacher abruptly stopped the class in the middle of a song to remind the class that, "We are singing, NOT shouting." I looked up from the front row to see that she was bent over and speaking right into my face!
NUDE EYE SHADOW
"That eye shadow looks so natural on you," I was told in high school by my best friend, Yulie Glutton (name has been changed to protect identity). "Thanks, Yuls! But I'm not wearing any eye shadow!"
EU DE YUCKE!
"You stink," I told a boyfriend several years ago after laying down with my nose near his armpit. "It's Old Spice," he said. "Yeah, VERY Old Spice!"
posted by Heather | 3:58 PM
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